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Prayer in an April Blizzard

the world is falling purple.

lamplight glazes the muted, snow-swept street

and the world seems to totter

between Heaven and Hell.

swallow me, purgatory,

sever me from past and future

and let me be an image,

an urban hieroglyphic

painted on a train car,

who, as the whole world rotates on,

will stand undying

in the far-off twilight.

like a great magenta angel,

neither one of death nor life,

the snowstorm spreads its wings over sleepless earth.

let me drown in this half-night,

let me neither live nor die.

and when the wind devours me,

I shall be numb, not feeling

and so never breaking,

never again sacrificing my tears

to gluttonous dusk, but hanging

in this spider’s web of timeless time, let all the world decay,

for in a blizzard so profound,

you stare into the nothing

and it’s like nothing ever was.

I do not want to die, God,

but if this is our true world, I do not want to live.


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